Sweet Carolina Girl

Kind of How I Feel First Christmas without Grandmommy

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:43:25 GMT

"Where Are You Christmas"

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love

Outside the Lines-Pregnant Volleyball Player

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:29:26 GMT

Hello, I can't believe she is even thinking of playing. I mean, hello, you quit being a kid when you got pregnant-now that baby's health comes first. Can't play? You so don't get it, and neither does your family. You're a mother to be now, not a volleyball player. That baby would be put to at risk. Your selfishness amazes me.

My Favorite Song-so my grandparent's love story

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:26:43 GMT

Mark Schultz - Walking Her Home
From the album Broken & Beautiful

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you’ll never leave her side

The way she laughed, the dress she wore
He’d never felt like this before

Chorus:
He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son

His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he’s got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night

Chorus:

Bridge:
He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night

And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out
But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home

Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call

Found Out Some Bad News About Grandmommy

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:42:20 GMT

"Quiet in my Town" Civil Twighlight

Today i heard that someone left this earth
That someone disappeared left no mark here
Today i heard that someone just got up and left himself
Lying on the ground

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town

Today two boys disappeared without noise
And i wish that i was them flying somewhere overhead
And tonight in silence, two lovers hate and find
One is bored
One is angry
But neither one of them is right, oh

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Oh, today is
Today is quiet in my town

Oh, somebody say something
Somebody say something
Somebody say something to me
Oh, someday say something
Someday say something
Someday say something cause i can't take this silence anymore
Anymore
[quiet in my town lyrics on http://www.kovideo.net/ ]
Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is too quiet in my town

Today i heard the sound of birds and i wish that i was anywhere but here

It's too quiet, too quiet
It's too quite, too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
In my town, in here, in here, in here,
It's too quite in my town

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is too quiet in my town

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town

My high school and college years and the ones before I got married-last for the night I promise

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:04:41 GMT

<td align="center">You are a direct flirt

You know who you want and you go after them. If they’re not interested, then you shrug it off because there are plenty more potential hot dates out there. You don’t waste time and, because of this, you have a high chance of finding Mr. or Miss Right (Now).

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Yea, I am Nice :)

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:55:59 GMT

<td align="center">You are 7% evil

You are not evil. Why are you taking this test? You are a nice person and are always thinking about others.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Okay, disagree with this-more people smart and emotionally smart

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:45:17 GMT

School Smart

You're more of a 'school smarts' kind of person. You are best with the theoretical things, and your intelligence is both natural and learned - a blend of personal, experiential knowledge and book learnin'.

40% theoretical intelligence
20% learned intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

This is more like my old days when I was fearless

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:39:59 GMT

<td align="center">Death through extreme sports

You are going to die in an extreme sports accident. You like to live life fast and hard. What’s the point if you don’t? Live fast, Die young, Leave a good looking corpse. Right?

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

Another Quiz-Kind of Freaky if you knew about the revenge incident when I was 4

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:15:29 GMT

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

In a Quizzing Mood

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:11:57 GMT

The Picto-Personality Test

You are a person who is incredibly tranquil and values peace above all else.

When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things.

You are romantic, and when you are with your partner you like to woo them with your imagination.

In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

In a Quizing Mood

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 02:49:25 GMT

You Are a Chihuahua Puppy

Small, high strung, and loyal.
You do best in the city with a adults - young kids could crush you!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 02:30:14 GMT

You May Be a Bit Obsessive Compulsive...

Meticulous and detailed oriented, you have some irrational obsessions.
Maybe it's your super neat closet or washing your hands a gazillion times.
You probably know it's weird, but you just can't stop thinking about it.
In fact, the more you think about your quirks, the more you have to do them.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Control Freak Quiz

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 02:23:04 GMT

You Are 48% Control Freak

Generally, you are in control but not a control freak. You life is usually in order.
However, sometimes you get too obsessed with making everything in your life picture perfect.

Are You A Control Freak?

Personality Test

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 22:34:45 GMT

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

Type A, that's me

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 22:16:29 GMT

You Have A Type A- Personality

A-

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

A piece of my childhood is being torn down, the Myrtle Beach Pavilion

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 23:35:29 GMT

I've been really busy recently with moving to Atlanta and trying to find a job. I was on the internet and found out that the Pavilion at Myrtle Beach is going to be torn down apparently to build condos or something. That makes me want to cry. What a bunch of greedy, money hungry developers. There's a petition that has over 4,000 signatures so far. That's so much of my childhood since I grew up so close to there. I can remember going to the Magic Attic in junior high and early high school and hanging out, then going and sitting on the benches outside and watching all of the people and the fireworks if it was 4th of July. In my mind, there was no better place. It was a family place and was a little bit of innocence left in the world. The Pavilion amusement park was one of my favorite places to go on family vacations when I was little. I loved being able to hang out with my family and ride the rides. Even my dad seemed like a kid again and I can remember him riding rides with me and us getting banana snow cones. I remember wishing I was just a little bit taller so that I could ride the Corkscrew with him and getting so excited once I finally reached that height. And the mind scrambler and Galaxy, and the swings where you were able to overlook the highway and motels beneath. I can remember riding on the Galaxy during a junior high academic excellence trip and screaming because it went so fast it took my breath away.
As I got older, it was still a favorite place to go. So many nights were spend either at the Magic Attic there or at the amusement park. I can remember innocently flirting and dancing with the guys at Magic Attic at night, then sitting on the boardwalk behind it or on the benches talking and overlooking the sites. I still get a warm feeling when I watch "Shag" because parts of that movie are me and my friends visiting the beach. That's something some stupid developer will never understand, that it's more than a building and more than an amusement park, it's a history of me and so many other people. It feels like they paved paradise and put up a parking lot in the name of "progress." In an era when kids grow up too soon and when families grow apart, it was a place that celebrated innocence and families bonding. You can't put a pricetag on that. I can remember when you would enter the beach, and it was one of the first things you saw. It used to be the ocean that you would see to know you were there, but they soon killed that first view by building more hotels. The Pavilion then became when you knew you were home. I never thought the day would come that people would be so greedy and self-serving as to kill the very thing that is most associated with the beach.
I'm probably going to go with my boyfriend to the beach either this spring or summer to go to the Pavilion one more time and say goodbye. I'll ride the rides like I used to, but my heart will be heavy, knowing that my children and future generations will be deprived of a landmark and that I will only have memories to tell them about what used to be the heart of the beach. My mom said today when I asked her that it was a done deal so I doubt I will go back after that. The heart and soul of the beach will be gone and once gone, it can't be the same. And I don't want to support what it has become.

Lyrics to "Luka" by Suzanne Vega

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 02:22:27 GMT

My name is luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you’ve seen me before
If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight
Just don’t ask me what it was
Just don’t ask me what it was
Just don’t ask me what it was
I think it’s because I’m clumsy
I try not to talk too loud
Maybe it’s because I’m crazy
I try not to act too proud
They only hit until you cry
And after that you don’t ask why
You just don’t argue anymore
You just don’t argue anymore
You just don’t argue anymore

Yes I think I’m okay
I walked into the door again
Well, if you ask that’s what I’ll say
And it’s not your business anyway
I guess I’d like to be alone
With nothing broken, nothing thrown
Just don’t ask me how I am
Just don’t ask me how I am
Just don’t ask me how I am

SC lawmakers think domestic violence is a JOKE-literally, no wonder we rank in the top 5

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 02:18:24 GMT

I absolutely cannot BELIEVE the narrow-minded arrogance of most of our lawmakers at the state level. There was a bill before a committee on making domestic violence laws stronger. In South Carolina, domestic violence isn't a felony-but, hey, they want to make cock fighting one. They tabled a bill that would make penalties against domestic violence stronger, but voted for one that would make cock fighting a felony. I'm against any animal getting hurt, but it absolutely gauls me that they are, in essence, saying that gamecocks are more important than humans. And to make it worse, instead of debating it, they sit there and laugh at the name (it was going to be called POWER). The "W" stood for Women and one of them asked why they specified "women." So then it got changed to "people" and what do those male chauvinist pigs do-instead of discussing the issues they begin making jokes and talking about "pop her" and "pop her again." It's no wonder that a few years back we actually led the entire nation in domestic violence.
And then, to add insult to injury, David Wilkins, Speaker of the House, only says that they are "inappropriate comments" and that they don't reflect how the House really feels about domestic violence. Oh, yeah, that's real clear with what they are saying on that tape and with the way no laws strenghtening domestic violence policy are passed here despite ranking at the top year after year. After all, they are just women living in this state, why would they be important to these representatives. Obviously, they don't even have the moral compass to realize that domestic violence is wrong. I really hope this wakes people up to vote against every one of the good ole boys next election. I am absolutely appalled and disgusted. Even on the interview with MSNBC, that Rep. Altman guy came off like the arrogant jerk that he is and at the end according to the interview, stated that he thought that MSNBC would be smarter than that "little girl" reporter from the Columbia news who he called "not very bright." Ugh, I cannot believe we are stuck with this losers as representatives. You would think it was the 1900s or something, although I imagine they had more respect for people then than this crop of losers.

Fun quiz-what decade?

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 03:04:59 GMT

You Belong in 1967

1967

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Brains

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 02:56:23 GMT

Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 00:22:14 GMT

What 80`s movie are you?

Valley Girl

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

http://www.youthink.com/quiz.asp?action=take&quiz_id=316

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 02:10:04 GMT

Innocence
by Hootie And The Blowfish

What else can I do when the tears have all been wasted?
And the only voice you choose to hear
sings the songs of our hearts breaking.
Say your dreams, they all have changed.
Well, my smiles, they all have faded.
And the thoughts that used to seem so pure in my heart,
they now feel jaded.
Because I wanna feel like I did.
And I wanna feel innocence.
What else can it be except this pride I'm sick of drinking.
Storm clouds all have gone away.
Can we stop this thing from sinking?
Because I wanna feel like I did.
And I wanna feel innocence.
And I want you to know,
and to feel in your soul,
that someone has come and gone.
I'm stuck up here with you.
I never thought we'd get this high.
I used to be afraid of falling.
Now I'll spread my wings and I will fly.
I wanna feel like I did.
And I wanna feel innocence.
I wanna feel like I did.
Oh, I wanna feel innocence, oh. I...

So I got back and there were no messages on my answering machine

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 04:04:43 GMT

I was kind of sad that Josh hadn't called. I mean, yeah he sent a card and pictures of us from our last vacation on Friday but he's never remembered the exact date of my birthday and it was just hard to think he wasn't going to call, you know. My last two birthdays I've been with him and it was just weird knowing he wasn't my boyfriend this birthday. I don't know if that makes sense. He hadn't responded to an e-mail I sent Friday so it just kind of hurt my heart because it would kill me right now if he was already with someone else. And my imagination just went crazy tonight for some reason. The logical part of me was "Niki, he's in training for something that if he messes up three times, he's fired," but the illogical part was "He's found someone else and he's already moving on."
I was watching my DVD of the 4th season of Friends and all of a sudden, I heard a male voice on my answering machine. So I went over and picked it up and it was Josh calling to wish me a happy birthday. I was crying a little bit but I don't think he knew it because I kept everything pretty light. But it meant a lot that he finally remembered the date my birthday was on. In all honesty, he hasn't gotten the day right a single time in the two years we dated. It felt so good to talk to him again, but I know we can never date again. As much as he's my heart, he's not going to change his commitment issues and I just can't do the long distance thing anymore. But I'm really, really glad he called, and I know talking to him on the phone will get a lot easier and more natural. Just like the e-mails were so much easier after the first one, I'm sure this will get easier, too.
Everybody at work seems to think he's trying to get back with me, I don't think that's it. Most of my friends hate him and think I shouldn't even talk to him. But I can't do that. I mean, he was my friend for 2 1/2 years and my boyfriend for 2 years. Would I have dated him knowing all this? No. Do I think it was crap that he knew he had commitment problems and didn't warn me? Yes. Do I think he did it deliberately because he knew I wouldn't date him if I'd known about his issues? I don't know. He may have or he may have thought well, maybe I can change. I don't know, and I probably will never know. What I do know is that I was friends with him long before we dated and that I don't want to lose that friendship. It's a very odd feeling to be sticking up for your ex to your friends but I can see where they are coming from. They're protecting me, and that's what any good friend would do. But he's not evil, they and I agree, he didn't cheat or do anything horrible, he's just a bad boyfriend and he didn't treat me well sometimes. But he's still got a good heart and he hasn't changed from that same guy I became friends with. I feel like that song "Starting All over again is gonna be rough, on us, but we're gonna make it, starting all over as friends is gonna be hard." But I think it'll get easier as more of the firsts get over with.

DMV, Allergies, Breakups and Other Things

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 21:44:37 GMT

Well, my allergies have been completely screwed up since last week thanks to me quitting Allegra for a while. So I was really cold today at work and put my big winter coat on. They were all messed up yesterday, too, and I also got an e-mail from Josh that was mostly casual but talked about him feeling really bad Friday after the breakup and about how much he cares about me and always will (I had said Friday that one of the things that hurt the most is that I cared so much for him and I didn't feel like he cared as much about me). I wasn't quite expecting an e-mail that soon and it caught me a little off guard. Don't get me wrong, he has a big part of my heart and I completely want us to be friends. You don't stay with someone over two years without having very strong feelings for them, and like I told Danny, I think he cared for me as much as he can care about anyone. I just think he's so afraid of getting hurt the idea of commitment scares him to death.
So my boss calls me into her office today and suggested I might want to go home today because I took a nap at my 15 minute break today, I was just so tired from allergies and the breakup. I felt like it would be an insult to her intelligence not to mention that I was having allergies and breakup symptoms too (nausea, headache, all that good stuff) and wasn't sure how much was which (I work in a small office and enough people knew we broke up, word gets around and I didn't want her thinking all allergies and then thinking I made it up about allergies when it came out Josh and I broke up too). She had me take the rest of the day as a mental health day/allergy day, which I think did me a lot of good. I went ahead and renewed my driver's license since it has to renewed this week anyway to make sure I didn't miss any more time on Friday since it takes forever to get that done and I wasn't sure the DMV would be able to do it on my lunch break. Sure enough, good thing I got it done today, it took them 50 something minutes to get me in and out. Yuck. At least I don't have to do it again for another 10 years. The guy behind me and I were talking and he ended up leaving it took so long.
I think the worst is over with Josh. I care a lot about him and I think he does me, but he can't change and I can't do long distance like this. It's just so much easier when you can blame it all on one person and be like, "They're evil." But I can't compartimentalize him like that. He was my friend before he was my boyfriend. We're e-mailing, but it's mostly casual, which is good right now. I don't want to lose him as a friend.
I heard "Goodbye Girl" off Hootie & The Blowfish's Greatest Hits CD and it reminds me of us. If we're meant to be, we would end up back together but I don't think that will happen because I don't think we are meant to be as anything more than friends. I told him on Friday when he was having second thoughts that if we were meant to be we wouldn't have broken up and I truly believe that. Maybe eventually we might be, but it's definitely not our time right now.

Well, we broke up yesterday

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 15:13:12 GMT

It was in a way a relief, though. I knew we were headed for this, especially with him taking the promotion where he wouldn't even be in South Carolina at all anymore unless he came to see me. I just was hoping it would be closer to football season so that I could distract myself with tailgating, games, and parties. I wasn't expecting it to come so soon, but since his trip for next week got canceled due to his captain's training, it moved things up a bit.
I was sick yesterday with allergies so I called in sick to work. I was going to try and go sick because I thought that he would be here next Friday and didn't want to take annual leave that day right after taking sick leave, and that's when the whole thing about him not being here next week came up.
Well, I didn't want to be home by myself after that so I told him I wanted to go swimming. I just wanted us to quit crying in the stupid room and figured with swimming at least we could be distracted. So we went. It might've ended up a bad idea, though, because he pulled me to him like he used to and then started talking about how maybe we were meant to be and he just didn't know now. I told him that if we were meant to be that we would still be together now. I mean, he would've wanted me in Texas or he would've been willing to move here, it's as simple as that. We broke up because he is scared to death of commitment. He wants to be with me, but he wants it all on his terms and he doesn't care enough to think of me ahead of his career or even his friends sometimes. It's that simple, it has to be that simple. I just hate that I let myself care so much. I told him that I wished he had just been honest from the beginning, that he was afraid to get too serious and that I would've known and put in the back of my mind we were never going to be more than friends. He says he cared a lot or else we wouldn't have stayed together as boyfriend/girlfriend over 2 years. I don't know, but I do know we would've both been better off had he been honest about his issues with relationships. Only after over a year did I find out that he is scared of this stuff and most of his relationships have been screwy like that. Ours just lasted longer than the rest.
I wish I'd never met him. Isn't that a horrible thing to say about someone that you knew and dated that long, but it's the truth. I went to Cindy's last night and hung out with her and her mom and sister who were in town. Last night, getting to sleep was really rough, but things always look better in the morning.
I'll move on and I'll get through this, it's just going to take some time. I had my Jo Dee Messina CD going last night, which was a good thing. I love "Stand Beside Me," "Downtime," and "I'm Alright." Reminds you that eventually things will get better.
At least football season is only about 50 days away. Bring on the games, parties, and tailgating.